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Happy Year of the Tiger!

The Chinese New Year is a time where families purge their homes of ill-fortune in hopes to make way for good incoming luck.

To celebrate the Year of the Tiger, Stephane and I went out for lunch (Chinese). As we sipped our Jasmine and Lavender tea we reflected on how much luck has evolved for us. A year ago luck meant a positive pregnancy test. This year it isn’t something to attain, it is something infertility presented to us. In all of our unlucky (and between the two of us there is aplenty) we actually feel lucky for the unlucky. It showed us a new way of being, a revived perspective to the world that makes us feel a deeper sense of joy and appreciation for what we do have. Luck isn’t something we look for ahead, rather within.

So, what does the Year of the Tiger mean for infertiles?

Tigers are a sign of bravery. They are also gracious, independent and powerful.

Need I say more?

Wishing you a Year of the Tiger like no other. May your luck be discovered rather than attained. May your bravery carry you through the next cycle. May your innate power help you through the adoption process. May you remember that you are not alone and there there are millions of Tigers just like you out there.

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!

1.We promise to never use the words “path”, “journey”, “for the best”, “it’s God’s plan” or “meant to be”.

2. We promise to approach difficult moments with curiosity and compassion. When not so pretty thoughts or feelings come up, rather than beating ourselves up we’ll think, ‘I’m feeling this, what is that about?’ and whatever the answer know that we’re doing the best we can.

3. We promise to view life as an evolving adventure, whether we become mothers or not, we’ll always make time to explore the giant playground that we live in.

4. We promise not to roll our eyes when friends tell us they are pregnant on the first try. As easy as it seems, we wouldn’t trade the perspectives we now have for anything. Even an easy pregnancy.

5. We promise to go ziplining – literally and metaphorically – to look at the world around us with awe and wonder.

6. We promise to trust that our decisions are the best decisions for us and our families. Though other people may not understand, or approve, we promise to remember this is our life, not theirs.

7. We promise, even in the face of waiting and waiting, or changing diapers at 3am and cleaning grape jelly off the couch, to never forget the lessons infertility taught us – to roll with the punches and take life as it comes.

8. We promise to connect more with other women who can’t have kids the easy way. There is no reason for any of us to feel alone in our struggles.

9. We promise to karaoke the blues away. There’s nothing like belting out Pat Benetar in front of a roomful of strangers to salve a failed cycle or adoption that fell through.

10. We promise to celebrate every little victory – good test results or completing a step in the adoption process – to take a pit stop once and a while and treat ourselves to fun day trips or Reeses Peanut Butter Cup sundaes for no reason.

Happy Holidays from the V List!

We carefully sit on Santa’s lap, trying not to put too much weight on his legs. The bell on Stephanie’s embroidered “Jingle” shirt rings. The rhinestones on my snowwoman shirt glisten underneath the mall’s florescent lights. We giggle but Santa thinks nothing of our tacky shirts and 30-something selves sitting on his lap. What do you want for Christmas?” he asks.

“A healthy baby.” I tell him.

“Sounds like a nice present. And what about you?” he looks at Stephanie.

“A healthy baby.”

“Are you also expecting?” He asks.

“No, we’re adopting.”

“That is wonderful, it is something… I hold… very, very close to my heart.”

Santa gets it. His beard is real, his eyes are sparkly blue, and his breath smells like snow so I feel pretty confident that our wishes may actually make it to the person in charge.

We believe that the best gifts don’t come under the Christmas tree so, in that spirit, please enjoy this playlist we made featuring little ditties that we feel represent infertility and the V List in one way or another. Pull up your hookah, tissue box, 80s leg warmers, skydiving parachute and karaoke machine. Click on the “Pop-Out Player” button below… enjoy… and may all your wishes come true.

Standalone player